Generalisations Can be Harmful to Stigma: Psychiatric Hosptials

After BB posted the link to the article of a person's account of their friends stay in a psychiatric hospital, it got me thinking. If you would like to read the article then it can be found here.
 

I really struggled with the gross over generalisations that were made in this article.  Things that could easily be seem as scare mongering.  Imagine being a person whose psychiatrist has suggested you have some time in a psychiatric ward and you read this article. It's likely to make you shy away from even thinking of the prospect.  Being inside a psychiatric facility isn't easy, it's far from it but that is because you are working on issues that are plaguing your mind, stripping yourself bare and starting again. A psychiatric facility is sometimes the only safe place that you can do that.
 

I get the impression from the article that the writer's friend was in a private facility. Something that I have no experience with.  There were somethings in the article that did ring true for a public hospital but they were still gross generalisations.  I have seen patients who looked like walking zombies.  These patients were violent when not medicated. I have also seen these patients months down the track, once the medication is settled and they are a completely different person. They have gone from a person with delusions, suicidal behaviour, someone who couldn't function in society, to someone who you could sit down and have a conversation with. They are someone who can string words together. They are the good outcome of the psychiatric facility. 
 

Comparing the modern day facilities to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is just the tip of the iceberg.  While some nurses and doctors really shouldn't be in the profession anymore as their passion is gone, this is no reflection on the end result that a stay in a psychiatric ward strives for.  The author saw a glimpse in a persons journey.  She had no idea how far they had come or how far they had to go. 
 

The comments of the writer about her friend being 'normal' except for needing to be in a psychiatric facility are extremely harmful for the fight of stigma removal. Everyone is 'normal' until they suffer from life event that renders them helpless.  There is no shame in needing to be hospitalised. 
 

‘Everybody hates being here. People talk about killing themselves, not because they want to die but because they want to get out of the hospital’, said my friend Julie.
 

I have no idea on the amount of times that I have been admitted but I would say it would be over 20 times.  Some of these stays have been for a month at a time.  Not once have I seen a patient express these words.  I do wonder if they have been twisted. It was a common thread amongst depressed patients that they just wanted to get 'so that they could kill themselves' and so the hospital kept them in. It was not the hospital itself causing these thoughts, but the depression. They were already suicidal before coming into hospital and saw the people who were trying to help them as one more road block to their desire to be gone from this world.
 

The author of this article has no medical training, and yet commented on the medications that her friend was allowed to take.  The Drs and Nurses in a psychiatric facility want things to run as smoothly as possible.  They are not there to make your life difficult (even though it may seem like it when you are being admitted) but to keep you and the other patients safe.  They will give you the medication that will fit your medical needs. Just because one med worked for another, does not mean that it will work for you. 
 

This whole article just did not sit right with me, especially being from the friend of a friend in a psychiatric facility's perspective.  She was an outsider looking in.  She had no idea the issues that the other women were facing, or why they looked scared and unsure.  It can be pretty daunting to go into a strange place, even without suffering a mental illness. Add to the mix anxiety and you are bound to get a few people who look like a deer caught in headlights.  It may have come across more realistic if the friend had written it.  Seeing a glimpse of a ward, during visiting hours is not the same as staying in the ward.
 

The article has really done nothing to help the stigma that people feel about the 'looney bin'.  It saddens me that in 2013, we are still facing such close minded views. Views of those people who are looking from the outside, and get to go home to their cookie cutter life at the end of the day, not realising the damage that their words have done. 

Selfishness and Parties

 A conversation on twitter yesterday got me thinking about my 21st.  In Australia the big parties seem to be the 18th, 21st and then the decades there after.  My 18th was pretty non event so I was holding out for my 21st.  The universe however had other ideas. I was 6 months pregnant with Devil Spawn for my 21st so my birthday was a no alcohol for me event.  I wanted to just go to the local pool and laze around in my giant pregnant state but apparently that was unfair to all of my other able to drink guests. Whatevs
 

Just to throw another spanner in the works Devil Papa also got shingles in the week before the party so he was too tired to stay much longer than a couple of hours.  It did make the night relatively cheaper though as two of the biggest drinkers were out of action!
 

My family traveled down for it (7 hours so was a bit of a hike for them) and we had dinner at a local pub. I had a few friends come along and it started off as a nice night.  Until one annoying friend, who is no longer my friend, started to complain.  Some part of her brain malfunctioned and she thought that the night was about her. Her brain malfunctioning is all that I can think of because surely no one is as selfish as she acted that night.
 

The party started at 630pm (I think, the memory is a bit fuzzy) and after half an hour she was complaining that she was bored and wanted to know when we planned on going clubbing.  As I already mentioned, my family had traveled 7 hours to be here, they sure as hell deserved more than 30 minutes of my time.  Also no one in their right mind goes clubbing at 7pm, there is no one out and you look like a dick.
 

My party was also a sit down dinner...no one had eaten.  If you have ever been pregnant or been around someone who is pregnant, then you know that nothing stands between a pregnant woman and her food.  Especially at the particular pub we were at. They are known for their giant meals.  Devil Papa and I go there regularly and often take left overs home as there is enough for another meal.
I tried to ignore said friend to no avail. She was adamant that we must leave as soon as possible for the clubs.  She even made a point of walking out in a huff (aka adult sized tantrum) after I had said for what felt like the 1000th time that no we were not going anywhere yet. I hadn't made plans to go clubbing at all but if the opportunity arose I'd take it. 8pm was not the opportunity that I saw.
 

The party came to a close and a few of us decided to go to a large hotel that was in the vicinity of the clubs but not completely full of douche bags.  As I mentioned, I was six months pregnant at the time and just wanted to dance without someone grinding their groin on me.  As the hotel was mainly filled with middle aged women at the time, instead of getting my arse grabbed there was lots of belly rubbing to feel like Devil Spawn kick.  He obliged by doing his usual Mexican wave across my stomach. 
 

This 'club' was obviously not to the standard of which my 'friend' was hoping for.  She once again still forgot that it was in fact my party and we were going where I damn well said we were. Yes I was an only child for 11 years...how did you guess?  She complained and huffed about how we weren't doing what she wanted to do. 

After my parents left, I told her to go do what she wanted because I was sick to death of her attitude.  I was pretty reserved and had to tell another friend who was there at the time to leave it, because I was very close to telling her to go fuck herself.
While this friend didn't ruin my night, it made the night very unpleasant.  Her selfish actions left a sour taste in my mouth and it wasn't too much longer after that, that I cut her out of my life completely.
 

Have you had a party ruined by someone else's attitude?

I plead insanity

 We all have those relationships in our past that make us think WTF, was I drunk the entire time.  Whenever Devil Papa and I are having a bit of rough patch, I go and Facebook stalk one ex, lets call him Dick, just to remind myself where I could be.  It certainly helps bring me back to reality! Dick is six beers short of a six pack..even that is being generous.  I of course claim insanity, alcoholism and any other decision impairing substance for that little blight on my history.
 

Our relationship was short, mostly of me being drunk, him being naive and a relationship that looked more like mother and son to the outsiders.  Someone once remarked to me that if I ever fell pregnant to this guy that she'd hope that it would inherit my brain and not that fathers lack of, so that I could at least have an intelligent conversation with someone.  Our relationship ended when I sobered up a bit and realised what the hell he was really like. 
 

Even after we broke up, he kind of hung around for a while.  Like a lost puppy or something.  At the time I was living in hostel like accommodation, with 6 other women.  We were all crackers so it made for an interesting living arrangement, one that always meant someone had alcohol.  One of the 'rules' was that there was to be no men staying, a rule we all broke regularly. It was kind of an unwritten rule, you keep quiet, don't cause a fuss and everyone will turn the blind eye cos they've no doubt done worse.
 

One particular day Dick decided to pay me a visit and rode a push bike from his place on the other side of town, to my place...a journey of about 7km.  He put his bike in front of the house, thinking it would be safe inside the yard.  Upon leaving the house again, we discovered his bike was gone. One of the ladies, who I was friendly with was sitting on the steps. I asked her if she had seen what happened to the bike. She took one look at me, and promptly burst out laughing.  She was laughing so hard she had to go and get her asthma inhaler before telling us what had happened to the bike....
 

It had turned out one of the other ladies had thought some hooligan (the thought of Dick having the forethought to commit a crime still makes me laugh) had pinched a bike and dumped it at our house...so she called the police to have it picked up.  Surprisingly they were pretty prompt and had taken the bike to the police station already.  A phone call to the boys in blue revealed that Dick would have to go down to the station to identify his bike.
 

I decided that I should tag along, you know for shits and giggles. Plus the bottlo was on the way.  There was plenty of giggling the whole walk there, all 12 blocks of it. More from me, less from Dick.  I figured he'd tell them what his bike looked like and be over with it, turned out I was wrong, things were about to get a hell of a lot funnier...well for me anyway, well at least after I finished explaining to them that, no I wasn't there to sign in and doing three times a week was enough thanks folks.  I'm here with this dickhead, seemed to clear it all up though.
 

As the plot thickened, it turned out that the bike was his mates and he couldn't remember exactly what it looked like. Not one single detail.  Something which I didn't know until he was asked by the officer in charge.  Long story short, they wouldn't give him the bike.  Cue more laughter from me.  He then had to ring said mate, who had no idea that Dick had borrowed his brand new bike and tell him that he had to pick his bike up from the police station.  To say his mate wasn't impressed, was an understatement. 
All in all it was an afternoon of entertainment still makes me laugh even now, 6 years later.
 

Do you have an ex in your closet that you'd rather forget? Share your stories, make me feel a little better about Dick.

FFS Friday

It's my favourite part of the week, for more reasons than one but also because it means that it's FFS Friday with Dear Baby G again! 

This week the state of QLD has been in flood. It seems to bring the dickheads out in full force FFS

We received close to 500mm in under 48 hours. It destroyed roads and bridges. Still people were stupid enough to drive through the water FFS

Stretched rescue teams then had to spend time rescuing these dickheads, taking precious resources away from people who didn't put themselves in the situation FFS

People were letting their children swim in swollen creeks and storm water drains FFS

The roads were cut on Saturday so of course people started panic buying. Maccas ran out of chips FFS

It's been a struggle all week to get most food, especially milk.  There has been limited fresh food. There was even no potatoes. What on earth are people expecting to do with it all? FFS

A woman was removed by security from one of the supermarkets after abusing a checkout chic because she was enforcing the restrictions put in place because of the limited food. She proceeded to jump all over her extra loaves of bread, exclaiming that if she couldn't have them, no one could. FFS

The shops had less people in them at Christmas. People were less rude too FFS

There have been reports of fights between customers over the dwindling stock FFS

The Fitzroy hasn't even reached it's peak yet.  FFS

We still have a few more days to go of this FFS

Despite entire communities still being cut off due to their bridges being swept away in the flood waters, they haven't been declared disaster zones. The people here aren't able to receive assistance to help them get back on their feet unless the area is declared a disaster zone. FFS

Already people are preying on the weak and vulnerable by door knocking, and telling people they are with the electrical, phone, etc and are here to help clean up. They then swindle people out of their money. It's disgraceful FFS

 What's been pissing you off this week? Let me know so I don't feel like the only whinging bitch.  If you have a blog, then head on over to Dear Baby G and link up your post. Also don't forget to read all of the other great posts.

 

 

Don't be a dickhead

Over the last two days, the Rockhampton region has received close to 500mm in rain.  It rained non stop for the last two days.  My backyard looked like a swimming pool. Thankfully my house is built up a little bit or I would have been fighting the water out of my house. Many people in the region were.  The large amount of rain in a short amount of time meant that essential services were lost to some regions. Some areas lost electricity and water.  The the worst happened...the internet died.  If it had happened on the 21st of December I am sure it would have caused a panic of epic proportions.  Instead it just caused boredom and no outlet to voice our frustrations.  Nearly 24 hours without internet = Longest. Day. Ever.
 

There is something about rain, that just brings out the morons.  It's like the rain fertalises the one brain cell they have and they decide they need to be heroes.  Much to the dismay of the Emergency Services.  Every time there is a flood, the Emergency Services need to say over and over again 'If it's flooded, forget it' and still people don't listen.  In the 2011 flood, there were so many rescues that just wasted precious resources that could have been used to help those who were genuinely in trouble. Not the people who decided they were above the law and that the signs were for pansies. 
 

Picture from here

If you can't see the road, chances are that it's too deep to drive over.  Even worse, there might not be a road there to see.  Yesterday a young boy had to be rescued from raging flood waters because him and his friend were playing in the water and he fell in.  Children need to be educated on this! Adults need to make them aware of the dangers, there is so much debris and there is no knowing how fast the current under the water is flowing.  What could look like a calm river on top, could be a fast flowing death trap underneath.  A child, even an adult is not strong enough to fight a river that is a full force. 
 

Please for the sake of your loved ones and the loved ones of the people who risk their lives to save you, just don't risk the flood waters.  It's not the end of the world if you don't reach your destination on time.  It may be a huge inconvience, but it's better than your loved ones receiving the phone call that no one wants to receive. 
 

During this time the Facebook page CQ Flood Updates has been an absolute godsend and a wealth of information in keeping locals and their families up to date on what is happening with the floods. 

Listmania: Currently I am

On my usual morning social media read, I stumbled across a new linky party by Deb from Home Life Simplified. It's brand new for 2013 and has a new list of prompts each week.  The linky is open for a week so if you are a blogger then come along and join the party!

 This weeks prompt is Currently I am:

 Reading: I just finished The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  I quite enjoyed it.  I think I'll read a Janet Evanovich one next as I like to have a filler in between 'heavy' books.

Listening to: Napoleon. Devil Spawn has taken a liking to the movie. I'm just waiting for the disc to die from overuse.

Laughing at: The phrases that Devil Spawn comes out with. It's amazing seeing how his brain works when he comes out with some of the stuff he does! 

Swooning over: In light of the Breastfeeding debate that was sparked by a woman getting asked to leave a pool, the images of Ryan Gosling that are circulating. He thinks Breastfeeding is sexy ;)

Planning: I've gotten into the swing of the Menu Planning and it's actually working, most of the time.  

Eating lots of: Lattice Slice. It is yum yum and the recipe can be found here

Feeling: Completely overwhelmed...still

Discovering: Not everything is as it appears. It's better to to stabbed in the front by an enemy than stabbed in the back by a friend.

Looking at: Ways to improve the blog. Let me know what YOU want to see more of here 

Wearing: As little clothes as possible when I'm at home. It is ridiculously hot here at the moment. I feel like I am sitting in a giant pool of sweat, even at midnight.

Cooking: More meals that are easy, but still nutritious. Ones that also appeal to a fussy toddler are also winners.

Wondering: If I am taking the right steps to making 2013 my bitch. It feels like two steps forward, one step back at the moment. I will OWN it!

Trying out: A bit of goal orientated exercise with Kate and signed up for Operation Move. 

What are you currently....

 

Fairy's don't wear shoes

I love getting dressed up in costume. No I'm not talking about the bedroom you dirty minded people! I'm talking the kind that you can wear out in public.  Although some girls get the two mixed up.  In the town that I grew up in, Halloween parties were an excuse for everyone to go all out. It was great fun to see everyone dressed up.
 

When I was 16, I went as a fairy.  The costume involved a blode wig, floaty pjs, a crown, a wand and a piece of tulle that was masquerading as a tutu.  What it didn't involve was shoes, which, later in the night was to become my undoing.
 

 Early in the night there was a pre party, party. Complete with Jelly Shots that the coppers wife had made*. They were potent and soon became the initiation to the party.  My 'terrible' parents would only let me have one.  It seemed that the blonde wig had 'magically' transformed my logs and one of the party guests, a friend of my parents started hitting on me.  Up until the point where his wife politely reminded him that he was married and I was only 16. The poor bastard was flat out standing, let alone being able to see further than 2 foot in front of him.
 

The town party was in the town hall. I don't think you've really 'lived' in a small town until you have attended a disco or event in the town hall. It's usually got polished wood floors, no aircon, and 1000's of windows. At least the ones when I was growing up were. Not so much now.  It also wouldn't be complete without sneaking out the back (they always have a yard out the back) and drinking smuggled alcohol.  Usually Rum, which I think kind of tasted like arse.  You stay out late and feel bad arse cos you were the last to leave.
 

One thing that I had failed to factor into my costume choice was the walk home. My feet are pansies. I can't walk barefoot on anything other than cement or indoors.  They are so fucking sensitive.  This doesn't bode well for the gravel road that I had to take to get home.  I decided that it would be 'safer' to walk in the gutter, it being cement and all. I was wrong. The cement had corroded away and the metal was sticking out. The metal went straight into my pansy feet and ripped it open. There was blood and it hurt like a mofo. I was still half a block from home, so had to walk on my heel and the cut was on the ball of my foot.  It got worse.
 

I managed to limp home. I was crashing around the house looking for tissues and a bandaid or bandage of some description. This woke my mum, who before that was in a drunker stupor.  I was sitting in the bath, trying to work out what the fuck I was going to do with my foot.  Mum came in and had the brain fart idea that it needed to be washed out with dettol, in case it would get infected.  She insisted she would just dab a couple of drops on. Turned out her version of a couple of drops is half the bottle. It stung like a mofo.  Funnily enough it never did get infected.
 

The plus side to all of this was that I got to go to school in thongs for a week as I couldn't possibly fit my bandaged foot into my joggers. Any excuse really.
 

Have you had any costume party mishaps? Are your feet pansies too?

I still feel like a child playing dress up

Over the weekend a parody hashtag was created on twitter called #fakemamamia. I personally thought it was hilarious. It bought together many like minded women who weren’t afraid to laugh at a situation and who realised that being a mum wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops and shit.  What was created from this hashtag was Unreal Women. The start of a woman's online mag that was breaking the norm. Until the mainstream got a hold of it.  Sadly it’s over before it even began. All over a typo. Seriously.  Death threats were sent. Seriously.

Where I am going with this is that the following post was a submission I made to be included in the mag. The mag is no longer going ahead but I wanted to help tell it’s story.  To show the damage that can be done.  

I'm 24. I have been living out on my own for the last five years. Yet I am still waiting for someone to come along and tell me they caught me out, that I'm just pretending.  I don't feel like a real grown up.

When I was little I always loved bags. I still do and get a new one every couple of months. If my bank account allowed it I think I would get a new one every month.  One thing I always dreamed about when I was little was that I would have enough 'stuff' for a 'proper' handbag.  You know all the 'grown up' stuff that we see our mums stuff their bag with.  I now have the oversized handbag, complete with all the stuff. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

I always buy organisers when I get the chance. I love stationary and have way too much of it.  The diary is another thing that I saw as a 'grown up' thing.  I couldn't wait to be old enough to fill it with all of the activities I would do. All of the appointments I would be attending. The outings I would be invited to.  I have those things. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

As a female, the go to present is smelly stuff. I have enough lotions and potions to sink a battle ship.  I wear perfume every day. It's another thing that I equate with being a 'grown up'. You have places to be so you need to smell pretty.  'Grown up' things.  I still feel like a child playing dress up.

I always had a large collection of hand me down make up when I was growing up. I would sit in my room trying on different colours.  When I feel like being 'pretty' I put make up on. Sometimes it's for a night out. Other times it's to just do the grocery shopping.  I use foundation, mascara and lipstick. I'm not particularly good at applying it. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

Growing up I would fantasize about making my own home. I would think about all the stuff that I would buy and fill my house with.  I would picture all of the things I would use to decorate and how I could finally be able to display all of the ornaments I had collected.  I have all of that. I have so much stuff. My house is set up into a little home. It's not perfect but it's mine. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

Unlike other little girls, I never dreamed about having kids. They just didn't factor into my future plans.  I now have a 3 year old son.  He depends on me for everything and loves me to death. I teach him things without even realising it, I'm moulding a little human being. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

My whole life feels pretty surreal to me most days. I try not to think too far ahead or I get overwhelmed. I do things my way. Not everyone agrees with it, but I speak my mind.  I might feel like a child playing dress up but I'm an adult who's learning to cope in the big bad world.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

Dissection

I decided to do a bit of dissecting today. What on you ask? The Shopping Centre of course.  Yep it's all hard hitting action around here.
There are many different kinds of inhabitants that frequent The Shopping Centre.  Not all of them are rant worthy, most of them are.
 

The Teenager: This is one of the inhabitants that get on my last nerve frequently.  Sure there are nice ones around....those ones don't hang around shopping centres acting like wankers.  You know the ones, they are loud, obnoxious and always in large groups.  The local Shopping Centre tried to stamp down on these creatures by saying people under the age of 18 couldn't be in groups of more than 4. Yeh it worked for a whole week I think.
 

The Senior Citizen: This inhabitant tends to save all of their shopping adventures to one day. The dreaded Pension Day.  The general consensus is that this day is a Thursday.  Around here it seems to lean more towards a Friday.  The Senior Citizen has two very distinct categories. There is the cute little old lady/man. They fill you with all good stuff and remind you of the Disney industry generated Grandparent figure. Then there is the complete polar opposite.  The nasty, rude little old lady/man.  I understand that we should respect our elders BUT respect should be something that is returned.  You being over the age of 60 doesn't give you the right to push in front of me and my son at the checkout. If you have less things than me, I might have let you go first anyway.  You being rude about it just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
 

The Bogan Family: This group of inhabitants don't have shoes, clothes are usually ripped and dirty, just like their foul mouth.  Don't get me wrong I drop the F-Bomb like the best of them, but there is a time and a place.  Walking through your local Shopping Centre is not that place.  Also please try to keep your kids in some kind of control.  We all know that Shopping Centres are like drugs for small kids but if you're too busy snogging your latest Baby Daddy, then that shit is not cool.
The 'Whoops is this a Shopping Centre, not a nightclub': There is a whole post dedicated to this right over here
 

The Large Group: When I say large group, I am talking more that 5.  A large group on its own is not annoying.  It's when said large group insists on walking in a straight line across the walkway.  You know, blocking the whole fucking thing! Have you ever tried to navigate a pram or trolley through one of these groups? It's damn impossible.  None of them move, none of them acknowledge that there are OTHER FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO SHOP TOO!
 

The Dreamer: Although the name may lead you to think that this person is all arty and swish. No. This person is too busy in their own world to realise that there is actually other people in the Shopping Centre.  You know, people who are trying to get shit done.  They wander around, saying hello to the 500 people they know, usually done in a door way of a store.  Don't even try saying 'excuse me'. It will fall of deaf ears and you'll be forced to look like you are a member of 'The Bogan Family' by cursing them out.
 

The Get In, Get Your Shit and Get Out: This is me. I don't like shopping for the sake of shopping anymore.  All of the above inhabitants have ruined that for me. 

Which inhabitant are you? Are you a little bit of different ones?
 

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT

Girls night

This Friday night I am doing what every girl needs every now and then. I'm having a girls night out.  You have no idea how much I am looking forward to it.  Nothing beats letting your hair down sans kids with your closest girl friends.
 

I'm doing the preparation for it now because having a child has bought out the need to have everything organised days in advance part in me that was always laying dormant. I whipped out one my new notebooks and started making a list, checking it twice all that shiz.  Like I said I am super excited.
 

It got me feeling all stiff in the pants about past nights out and I started looking through old pics.  Oh the shame but oh there was so much fun had in making all that shame!

So with that I decided to share with you all my girls night adventures in picture form. Have fun and let loose baby!

 No girls night out is complete without the drinks before going out. You know because drinks at clubs are so damn expensive.

Screw cups and straws. They're overrated.

Occasionally I'm a laaaaady and use a grown up glass.  

Motorboating always makes the night much more fun.

It's not a night out clubbing unless you take at least one selfy in the toilet.

Then of course there is the morning after where you check out your wounds.  These are usually caused by the fact that the only time you wear heels is when you go out once every 6 months.  Of course you've never worn the shoes before and you will always get a blister.

Do you enjoy a good girls night out? Or maybe a boys night out? Are you long overdue for one?

FFS Friday 19 October 2012

 At first thought I didn't think I had enough for a FFS Friday but after some deep thoughts while washing my locks I realised that there were a few things that pissed me off this week. Well they do say that all of our best thinking is done while in the shower and on the toilet ;)
 

For the duration that I have been living at Funny Farm my shower has been shite.  I just thought there was a water saver head and put it in the too hard basket.  I got DP to have a look at it last weekend.  There was no water saver head. The pressure is just shite.  Now I am forever going to have to stand under the shower for an eternity to wash my locks FFS.
 

This week while having a child free day I was enjoying some television that was in cartoon when this little snippet turned up. http://www.2dayfm.com.au/entertainment/the_dirt/blog/video-guys-gone-skitzo/20121015-hf6h.html  Using a mental illness to describe something is NEVER cool. Ever.  There is a theasurus for a reason. Use it! FFS
 

DS has turned into a know it all.  He will ask me a question then say 'No'. Don't ask me the question if you already know the answer kid FFS.
 

On Wednesday a couple of friends and I took our kids down to the beach for the day.  We went early to get as much time as possible at the beach.  Turned out it was high tide so there was no beach.  FFS
I got all "I'm more fit that I think I am' and decided to walk from the beach to DP's work.  In the stinking heat. Pushing 20+kg worth of toddler and pram. Mostly up a hill.  I think I saw my life flashing before my eyes a few times. About half way I was dying of thirst and busting to go to the toilet at the same time.  The rest of the way felt like an eternity FFS.
 

I forgot to put sunscreen on both DS and I. We both got burnt.  I remembered to put sunscreen on DS on Thursday morning before going to Mum's Group but forgot about myself. I got reburnt. I feel like a giant lobster FFS

For the first time in weeks I was asleep, soundly before midnight AND got to sleep in until 730am.  I got 10 hours worth of solid sleep for the first time in I have no idea how long.  I also woke up this morning feeling more tired than I have in weeks. It isn't supposed to work like that FFS.
 

I do my online grocery order on a Thursday afternoon.  The only spots that were left were the dearest spots.  I kept forgettting about it so I could only get night time spots.  It really is a first world problem FFS.
 

What's pissed you off this week? Leave your FFS in the comments then head on over to Dear Baby G and read all about other peoples FFS Fridays.

Mental Health: Pissing you off even after you've been discharged.

Long time no write...blah blah.

I got discharged from Outpatient services in June.  Wasn't really a big deal.  As I had told myself and many others, I've been doing this shit on my own for the last three years anyway.

It all went along smoothly and it felt good.  GP was happy to take over medication care.  I was happy that she was competent enough to do it.  MH were happy that she was happy.

Cue last Thursday.  I got a phone call from my GP office that she wanted to see me ASAP.  The earliest I could get in was Monday.  I was apprehensive as I had no idea why she would need to see me after receiving a discharge summary.

Cue hissy fit.  As usual MH had fucked up majorly.  They had said that I was discharged from inpatient services.  They also said that I had self harmed extensively, leaving out the crucial word HISTORY.

I haven't self harmed since September 2008, something that is quite an achievement.  To have these incompetent arseholes place this in jeopardy really pissed me off.  The ramifications really could have been worse than me just being pissed off.  What if my GP had decided that she would give children's services a call? What would they have done? 

I'm glad to be done with them.  My blood pressure can't handle too much more of it.

Soial Media has an Evil SIde Too

Social media aka Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Google+, you get the picture, can either be an absolute godsend or an absolute kick in the virtual guts.  

It’s filled to the brim with people who take it upon themselves to become keyboard warriors.  What is a keyboard warrior you ask. It’s simple. It’s someone who uses the internet to show aggression that they wouldn’t normally show in life.  For example being confrontational when IRL they are non confrontational.  

I’d like to think that I’m not one of those people.  I have a rule with myself that I will never say anything online that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face.  It helps me live with myself.  If at the end of the day you can look at yourself and be happy with the way that you have conducted yourself then I guess that is all you can do.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve found that not everyone lives by these standards.  Everyone likes to twist their own meanings into things and it is so easy for an offhand comment made in jest to get out of hand.  It’s so hard to convey emotions and sarcasm in the written text and you never quite know how someone is going to take something. Something that you see as hilarious, Mrs Joe Blow might find offensive.  It’s so hard to pick.

Being a keyboard warriors is more than just an accidental offensive slip because lets be honest we all have them. Yes even me, the awesomeness has them ;). A keyboard warrior is deliberately aggressive.  Antagonistic if you will.  They make idle threats and usually don’t know how to debate constructively.  A keyboard warrior tends to fall back on insults when confronted. If you are on the receiving end of a keyboard warrior you may even feel like you have time warped back to high school.

The last couple of weeks keyboard warriors have taught me a few lessons.  The biggest lesson being to take a deep breath, take a step back and not let the online world take over my real life.  Over the Easter weekend I took a complete break from social media and it was a breath of fresh air.  I’m definitely too much of an addict to give it up forever and quite frankly it does have its awesome points.  After my break I was able to come back to social media with a fresh slate.  The comments made weren’t getting to me as much and it wasn’t spilling over into my real life anymore.  

I noticed that 90% of my conversations to Paul were about my frustrations of Facebook, we weren’t having REAL conversations anymore.  We even started to argue about it.  After my break and a huge conversation things are better.  I’m sticking with the good stuff and trying to ignore the bad stuff. Both for my happiness and my family’s happiness. 

Slow down dickhead

In Queensland the road toll for 2012 is standing at 12...that's almost a death for everyday in the new year so far.  That's horrible.  That is 12 father/mother/son/daughter/brother/sister's that have been lost.  12 families affected or even less if there were multiple fatalities.

There were 3 accidents in the space of 12 hours yesterday.  The road has only just been opened tonight.  So sad for all the families involved.

Today I was walking to pick up Mini Man, it had been raining and just started again.  I heard screeching tyres and looked up.  A car was doing doughnuts down a small suburban st and then smashed into a parked car.  Are you fucking kidding me! If anyone had of been on the footpath they would have either been killed or seriously hurt.  Do people leave their brain at home when they get in a car???

This open letter by a police officer who lost her child due to a reckless driver really drives the point home.  In it she writes this: 

I would like to ask you to consider for a moment how you would feel if because of your stupidity or selfishness you killed your best mate, a parent, brother, sister or an innocent child? Could you sleep at night?

Read the full letter here. Pass it along to family and 

friends an please drive safely.