Since When

Today's post is a guest post. It's bought to you by one of my friends Sarah. She wants to have a bit of a dabble in Blogging so be kind :)

Sarah is currently on leave from my wonderful job to raise my daughter from a teeny tiny bub who decided that Christmas was too fun to miss out on last year and surprised us by arriving 2 months early.

Welcome to my first post. Thank you to Musings of the Misguided for hosting it for me.

I had been thinking about putting fingers to keyboard for some time, and have decided to bite the bullet.

So many things lately have made me ask “since when?”. None more so than the treatment of a lady who tried to create a space for women, by women without the fakeness of those popular women’s mags.

So here we go...

Since when did we start becoming a bunch of bullies who think it’s fun to bucket crap on someone just because they made a typo? Oh wait, that’s thanks to social media like Twitter and Facebook. Yes, Facebook has it’s merits, but I’m yet to understand Twitter. Limited characters, misconstrued meanings...

Since when did we start thinking we are entitled to Freedom of Speech? It’s Australia people. It’s not in our constitution. FoS is an American constitutional right, not an Aussie one. If you think someone has taken away you’re free speech, toughen up, princess and blog about it.

Since when did it become okay to teach our children that it’s acceptable to be rude, bigoted, ignorant people? IT’S NOT OKAY! I swear it seems worse than it did back in the 50’s and 60’s. And it’s just getting worse every day. I don’t know what the solution is, but I’m trying to teach my LO acceptance and tolerance. Manners have just gone out the window. There is a distinct lack of discipline that only started in the last 10 to 20 years. Please and thank you, please people!! And a simple “excuse me” wouldn’t go astray either.

Since when was it acceptable to threaten someone in any way, shape or form? It’s not cool people. Get over it. Grow up.

And one more, just to lighten the mood a bit...

Since when did Christmas card stamps start coming in packs of 20?? Normal stamps come in packs of 10, so why not Christmas card stamps too? Argh, it did my head in yesterday, because I only needed 10 and because they weren’t a pack, they weren’t self adhesive and I may have had to lick them, if not for the wet, squishy thingo they have at the post office.

Thank you to all who stuck with it and read it until the end. Thanks again to Tegan and Musings for hosting this for me.

Maybe I’ll start shedding a bit more light on what goes on in this overactive, yet mummy-addled brain of mine.

Bygones

Sometimes I wonder if it is my twisted perception of interpersonal relationships that makes it hard to make and keep friendships.  Other times I wonder if it's just because other people are stupid.

As I have gotten older, I become more aware of my actions and thoughts.  The thin line between my brain and my mouth closes and I think about what I say to others.  I have clear retrospection...or so I like to think.

The last six months have really made me more aware of how my actions have an impact on others.  How not everyone is straight up and honest.

Facebook has made me paranoid.  There is so many she said, she said, that you wonder who to trust.  You get stepped on and pushed over so much that you begin to question humanity's integrity.  You wonder what goes through people's heads and who is the crazy person.

In the end though all you can do is act how you will always act and hope that you will attract others who feel/think in similar ways.  Tell the truth and be up front.  Never say anything on the internet that you wouldn't to their face.  Living like this might get you 'haters' but it will also get you friends who 'get you'

Soial Media has an Evil SIde Too

Social media aka Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Google+, you get the picture, can either be an absolute godsend or an absolute kick in the virtual guts.  

It’s filled to the brim with people who take it upon themselves to become keyboard warriors.  What is a keyboard warrior you ask. It’s simple. It’s someone who uses the internet to show aggression that they wouldn’t normally show in life.  For example being confrontational when IRL they are non confrontational.  

I’d like to think that I’m not one of those people.  I have a rule with myself that I will never say anything online that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face.  It helps me live with myself.  If at the end of the day you can look at yourself and be happy with the way that you have conducted yourself then I guess that is all you can do.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve found that not everyone lives by these standards.  Everyone likes to twist their own meanings into things and it is so easy for an offhand comment made in jest to get out of hand.  It’s so hard to convey emotions and sarcasm in the written text and you never quite know how someone is going to take something. Something that you see as hilarious, Mrs Joe Blow might find offensive.  It’s so hard to pick.

Being a keyboard warriors is more than just an accidental offensive slip because lets be honest we all have them. Yes even me, the awesomeness has them ;). A keyboard warrior is deliberately aggressive.  Antagonistic if you will.  They make idle threats and usually don’t know how to debate constructively.  A keyboard warrior tends to fall back on insults when confronted. If you are on the receiving end of a keyboard warrior you may even feel like you have time warped back to high school.

The last couple of weeks keyboard warriors have taught me a few lessons.  The biggest lesson being to take a deep breath, take a step back and not let the online world take over my real life.  Over the Easter weekend I took a complete break from social media and it was a breath of fresh air.  I’m definitely too much of an addict to give it up forever and quite frankly it does have its awesome points.  After my break I was able to come back to social media with a fresh slate.  The comments made weren’t getting to me as much and it wasn’t spilling over into my real life anymore.  

I noticed that 90% of my conversations to Paul were about my frustrations of Facebook, we weren’t having REAL conversations anymore.  We even started to argue about it.  After my break and a huge conversation things are better.  I’m sticking with the good stuff and trying to ignore the bad stuff. Both for my happiness and my family’s happiness. 

Fix You

Through the BabyCentre forums I got to know a wonderful mum and began to follow the plight she faced and fought everyday to help her son with Autism.  She faced waiting list after waiting list, some up to 2 years long before anyone could provide her with the building blocks she needed to help her son become all that he could be.

She. Never. Gave. Up.

According to the 2009 Survey of Disability, Ageing and Carers (SDAC), an estimated 64, 600 Australians have Autism.  This is double the amount surveyed in 2003. The majority of the care of those diagnosed falls to the family. Formal carers provided less than a third of the care.  According to statistics only 2,200 people diagnosed with Autism receive daily formal care.  The rest falls to an often overworked, stressed family member.

Public waiting lists are long, private care is expensive.  Most families can't provide the care their child deserves.  My friend decided enough was enough and took things into her own hands.  She began fundraising, raising awareness and never stopped fighting so that her son could get the care he needed.  I am constantly in awe of everything she does for her family.

  Here is a video she had created the explains the plight more than I ever could.

If you wish donate please head over to their Facebook page: Ipads 4 Autism

Apple of my eye....and shit

I might be a little cynical (ok you can stop rolling your eyes now...no really stop) but these things drive me up the wall.  I don't think that I need to post 500 'inspirational quotes' on my facebook/twitter etc to show that I love my son.  

Also why isn't there any real ones? All of them describe them as being clean and pure and other shit.  Anyone with a child knows that this is about as close to the truth as thinking that a reality tv contestant isn't just in it for the money.  Sure they are perfect in every way to you, but the reality is that sometimes they are just little pains in the arses!  

So I decided to find a few of my own 'inspirational quotes'. Enjoy :D

This is quite possibly the best condom ad I have ever seen!

p.s I really hope no one comes across my blogs by using the search terms I just did

Isn't love all that matters

Image from here

I was reading through my Facebook feed earlier in the week and stumbled across a very worrisome article about chair of Beyond Blue, Jeff Kennet.  His words that worried me so much.... “Happy heterosexual marriages are the best environment for the mental health of children.” Read more here....

I really thought that we were living in the 21st century...obviously I was wrong.

Beyond Blue has distanced themselves from the comments made by Jeff Kennet.  With good reason.  

His comments really were a kick in the guts of progress and also to those families who aren't doing things by the 'norm'.  Plenty of kids have turned out a-ok in single parent families because they are loved...who is to say that someone's sexual orientation makes them incapable of love?

Even Centrestink now recognise same sex couples as what they are...couples.  You really are behind the times if you are more backward thinking than centrestink.

Dunnet's comments make the implication that children in heterosexual relationships have good mental health.  I can tell you that most of the people I know with a mental illness came from a two parent heterosexual family.  

I'm not saying that one family dynamic or another is more likely to create unstable mental health, just that all a child needs is to know that they are loved and they have a safe place to come home to.  

Sometimes it feels just like highschool.....

Facebook baby....sometimes it's great and other times it fucking sucks balls.

This week it's sucked balls....big fat hairy balls.  Shit hit the fan and it felt just like high school and not in a good way.  True colours were shown.

Keyboard warriors are a big problem in social media.  Everyone is tough when they are sitting behind a computer.... 

This is probably why cyber bullying is on the rise, it's so 'easy' to do. All you have to own is a computer and nasty wit.  I'm 'friends' with a few teenagers on facebook and if I had a dollar for every time there was an arse chewing on someone's status I'd be a fricking lady of leisure.  It's disgusting.  I'm so glad that there was no facebook when I was in school.  It was hard enough without having to deal with social media on top of it.

Mum's Group

I don't care what anyone tries to say.....I effing love my mums group!  They are seriously my lifeline.  My sanity saver. Mini Man gets to run around like the crazy energetic kid that he is, and I get some normal, adult conversation.  It's a win - win situation.  There are weeks when I want to hide in the house and force myself to go out and I am always glad that I go to mums group.  It's always refreshing to know that you aren't the only one who has terror darling child.

Major Man had a funny analogy of mum's group....one of those 'it's funny because it's true' analogies.  It's called 'mum's group, it's for mum's, if it was for the kids it would be called kid's group'.  None of us actually go to mum's group because of the kids.....we go because we are mum's and need/crave adult conversation.

You know the best thing about mum's group? We met on facebook! Who has the 'guts' to walk up to someone and say hey, wanna hang out.  At least once you are past the age of 10 anyway.  We've been meeting up since October 2009.

The moral of the story? Get out there! Join a mum's group.  It's great for your mental health and hey your kid might actually enjoy themselves.