Generalisations Can be Harmful to Stigma: Psychiatric Hosptials

After BB posted the link to the article of a person's account of their friends stay in a psychiatric hospital, it got me thinking. If you would like to read the article then it can be found here.
 

I really struggled with the gross over generalisations that were made in this article.  Things that could easily be seem as scare mongering.  Imagine being a person whose psychiatrist has suggested you have some time in a psychiatric ward and you read this article. It's likely to make you shy away from even thinking of the prospect.  Being inside a psychiatric facility isn't easy, it's far from it but that is because you are working on issues that are plaguing your mind, stripping yourself bare and starting again. A psychiatric facility is sometimes the only safe place that you can do that.
 

I get the impression from the article that the writer's friend was in a private facility. Something that I have no experience with.  There were somethings in the article that did ring true for a public hospital but they were still gross generalisations.  I have seen patients who looked like walking zombies.  These patients were violent when not medicated. I have also seen these patients months down the track, once the medication is settled and they are a completely different person. They have gone from a person with delusions, suicidal behaviour, someone who couldn't function in society, to someone who you could sit down and have a conversation with. They are someone who can string words together. They are the good outcome of the psychiatric facility. 
 

Comparing the modern day facilities to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is just the tip of the iceberg.  While some nurses and doctors really shouldn't be in the profession anymore as their passion is gone, this is no reflection on the end result that a stay in a psychiatric ward strives for.  The author saw a glimpse in a persons journey.  She had no idea how far they had come or how far they had to go. 
 

The comments of the writer about her friend being 'normal' except for needing to be in a psychiatric facility are extremely harmful for the fight of stigma removal. Everyone is 'normal' until they suffer from life event that renders them helpless.  There is no shame in needing to be hospitalised. 
 

‘Everybody hates being here. People talk about killing themselves, not because they want to die but because they want to get out of the hospital’, said my friend Julie.
 

I have no idea on the amount of times that I have been admitted but I would say it would be over 20 times.  Some of these stays have been for a month at a time.  Not once have I seen a patient express these words.  I do wonder if they have been twisted. It was a common thread amongst depressed patients that they just wanted to get 'so that they could kill themselves' and so the hospital kept them in. It was not the hospital itself causing these thoughts, but the depression. They were already suicidal before coming into hospital and saw the people who were trying to help them as one more road block to their desire to be gone from this world.
 

The author of this article has no medical training, and yet commented on the medications that her friend was allowed to take.  The Drs and Nurses in a psychiatric facility want things to run as smoothly as possible.  They are not there to make your life difficult (even though it may seem like it when you are being admitted) but to keep you and the other patients safe.  They will give you the medication that will fit your medical needs. Just because one med worked for another, does not mean that it will work for you. 
 

This whole article just did not sit right with me, especially being from the friend of a friend in a psychiatric facility's perspective.  She was an outsider looking in.  She had no idea the issues that the other women were facing, or why they looked scared and unsure.  It can be pretty daunting to go into a strange place, even without suffering a mental illness. Add to the mix anxiety and you are bound to get a few people who look like a deer caught in headlights.  It may have come across more realistic if the friend had written it.  Seeing a glimpse of a ward, during visiting hours is not the same as staying in the ward.
 

The article has really done nothing to help the stigma that people feel about the 'looney bin'.  It saddens me that in 2013, we are still facing such close minded views. Views of those people who are looking from the outside, and get to go home to their cookie cutter life at the end of the day, not realising the damage that their words have done. 

Boycott

Welcome to Reader's Choice Thursday again! The weeks are just getting away from me lately. I have started to write everything down so that I don't forget anything.  Phew so much to do, so little time.
This weeks winning Reader's Choice is 'Who I boycott and why'.
 

There are some companies that I avoid just because of their dismal customer service. Standing in a store for 20 minutes and receiving no help, is not the way to go about getting more customers through your door.  This company however isn't a boycott. If I need something and know exactly what I want, then I will go in there. 
 

However there is one store that I refuse to spend my money at.  I will not enter competitions held by them and would not accept marketing from them on this blog.  It is something that I feel that strong about.  What is this company you ask?  Gloria Jeans Coffee.  Now this isn't something that I came about because I had a bad experience with them but something reached because of research.
 

I wasn't aware of their partnerships until reading an article last year.  I was appalled and vowed to never shop there again.  Gloria Jeans have been linked to Anti-Gay campaigns and in 2012, in my eyes, this is just not acceptable.  In 2010, reporter Doug Pollard revealed that Gloria Jeans had donated $30,000 to the Australia Christian Lobby.  Upon questioning the Franchise of Gloria Jeans admitted to donating the money, but that they did not support the thinkings of of the ACL.  Why on earth would you donate then? We give money to things that we believe in, or have a place that is close to our hearts, or in a business sense, suit the persona that the business wants to show to the public.  I have no idea why a company in 2012 would feel it necessary to just throw money at a cause that they both don't believe in and had the potential to harm their business.
 

Gloria Jeans have also been linked to Mercy Ministries, an inpatient facility that provided treatment for women with 'life controlling issues'.  It was reported that these therapies also involved 'gay curing'.  In 2009, all Gloria Jeans stores displayed a collection box to raise funds for Mercy Ministries.  Mercy Ministries was allegedly closed due to violations of the trade act, it was only after this happened that Gloria Jeans stopped the partnership. 
 

There have been sites set up to help support those who have been effected by the Mercy Ministries, as well as a Boycott page that provides information in regards to the Anti Gay Movement. 
 

For more information check out these websites:

 http://boycottgloriajeans.com/

 http://www.mercysurvivors.com/about-2/

 https://www.facebook.com/BoycottGloriaJeans

Do you avoid any places? Is it more of a lack of customer service issue or something a bit deeper?

If you have a blog, please feel free to link up with your Reader's Choice.

 

I still feel like a child playing dress up

Over the weekend a parody hashtag was created on twitter called #fakemamamia. I personally thought it was hilarious. It bought together many like minded women who weren’t afraid to laugh at a situation and who realised that being a mum wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops and shit.  What was created from this hashtag was Unreal Women. The start of a woman's online mag that was breaking the norm. Until the mainstream got a hold of it.  Sadly it’s over before it even began. All over a typo. Seriously.  Death threats were sent. Seriously.

Where I am going with this is that the following post was a submission I made to be included in the mag. The mag is no longer going ahead but I wanted to help tell it’s story.  To show the damage that can be done.  

I'm 24. I have been living out on my own for the last five years. Yet I am still waiting for someone to come along and tell me they caught me out, that I'm just pretending.  I don't feel like a real grown up.

When I was little I always loved bags. I still do and get a new one every couple of months. If my bank account allowed it I think I would get a new one every month.  One thing I always dreamed about when I was little was that I would have enough 'stuff' for a 'proper' handbag.  You know all the 'grown up' stuff that we see our mums stuff their bag with.  I now have the oversized handbag, complete with all the stuff. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

I always buy organisers when I get the chance. I love stationary and have way too much of it.  The diary is another thing that I saw as a 'grown up' thing.  I couldn't wait to be old enough to fill it with all of the activities I would do. All of the appointments I would be attending. The outings I would be invited to.  I have those things. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

As a female, the go to present is smelly stuff. I have enough lotions and potions to sink a battle ship.  I wear perfume every day. It's another thing that I equate with being a 'grown up'. You have places to be so you need to smell pretty.  'Grown up' things.  I still feel like a child playing dress up.

I always had a large collection of hand me down make up when I was growing up. I would sit in my room trying on different colours.  When I feel like being 'pretty' I put make up on. Sometimes it's for a night out. Other times it's to just do the grocery shopping.  I use foundation, mascara and lipstick. I'm not particularly good at applying it. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

Growing up I would fantasize about making my own home. I would think about all the stuff that I would buy and fill my house with.  I would picture all of the things I would use to decorate and how I could finally be able to display all of the ornaments I had collected.  I have all of that. I have so much stuff. My house is set up into a little home. It's not perfect but it's mine. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

Unlike other little girls, I never dreamed about having kids. They just didn't factor into my future plans.  I now have a 3 year old son.  He depends on me for everything and loves me to death. I teach him things without even realising it, I'm moulding a little human being. I still feel like a child playing dress up.

My whole life feels pretty surreal to me most days. I try not to think too far ahead or I get overwhelmed. I do things my way. Not everyone agrees with it, but I speak my mind.  I might feel like a child playing dress up but I'm an adult who's learning to cope in the big bad world.

Linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

Lingerie Football

Welcome to Reader's Choice Thursdays.  This is our third week and so far I have learnt so much. The most important thing I have learnt however is to not tweet while watching trashy tv if I still don't have a topic or a certain blogger (I'm not mentioning any name *cough cough* will take it with both hands and I'll be writing about vjazzling or like this week....Lingerie Football.
 

So what exactly is Lingerie Football? Despite the name, the women don't actually play in skimpy lace numbers.  No they more closely resemble a cheer leading outfit than something you'd wear under your clothes.  It was founded in 2003, originally as a pay per view event showing opposite the half time of the Superbowl.  It is now a staple of Superbowl Sunday and is shown in over 85 countries worldwide.  The game consists of two seven-a-side teams.  Each team can have up to 20 players but only 14 are used on game day.
At the moment Lingerie Football is only played in the US and Canada.  However it is currently being promoted in Australia with the hope to officially start a season in 2013.  It is not without it's opposition however.  Sports Minister Kate Lundy was quoted as calling the sport ''cheap, degrading perv''.  This hasn't stopped women trying out though.
  

There are some groups who call Lingerie Football a sport that makes women into sexual objects.  Me? Hey if I had a body like these girls I would sure as hell be showing it off too.  These girls are athletic and strong.  In my opinion they are actually providing a positive body image. A hell of a lot better than any Runway Model that's for sure.  No one is forcing these women to run around chasing a football in a bikini and let's be honest there's more skin on display at the beach than these girls are showing. 
 

Critics are up in arms that this sport has tickets sold that are targeting families.  Are we really turning into that kind of world. A world where no one thinks for themselves and has to have a government dictate what we can and can't do.  Use your common sense people.  If you don't feel comfortable taking your kids to this kind of sporting even then don't but don't ruin it for the rest of the people.  Do I think it should be aired on Free-to-air television? No, but people who are willing to pay for it shouldn't be denied.  All of the women involved are consenting adults, who are over the age of 18. 
 

What's your take on Lingerie Football? Pervy or perfectly fine? If you had the body and the confidence would you do it?
 

For more Reader's Choice Thursday head on over to Help!! I'm Stuck!!

Epidemic

*The following post may be triggering to those who are struggling with self harm thoughts. Please make sure you are feeling safe before reading.*

If you or someone you know is contemplating hurting themselves please get in contact with a GP, go to your closes ED or give the wonderful people at Lifeline a call.

On 60 minutes on Sunday, they did a story on Self Harm. I will admit that I was apprehensive about it and didn't actually watch it until it was available online. After I knew that other people had watched it.  After I knew whether they had portrayed it in an understanding light.  I just knew that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with it, if it was anything else.
 

I've made no secret of the fact that I have self harmed in the past.  It is something that I deal with on a constant basis. It is something that I will probably deal with for the rest of my life.  Was it easy to stop? No. Not at all.
 

Self harm has been toted as 'attention seeking' among other derogatory things.  Things like that do nothing for the shame and guilt that someone who self harms or has self harmed feels.  The worst comments I have received have actually been from 'professionals'. The pearlers have been when presenting to the local Emergency Departmet with injuries that needed medical attention ranging from 'so', 'you know you're doing it the wrong way' to when presenting with self harm thoughts and not actions 'just come back when you've done it'.  Emergency Departments are the first port of call for mental health patients and really need to be trained in ways to deal with these patients. Psychiatrist Professor Graham Martin talks about it during his interview.
 

"I hear of therapists running away. I hear of people in hospital running away. Nursing staff who can’t face up to somebody who has cut themselves deliberately. Because they’re not important, and they did it to themselves, and they’re just attention seeking. I don’t believe any of that. I think when somebody goes to these lengths, they need help."
 

One of the most common questions asked of someone who self harms I think is "What made you think to pick up something to hurt yourself with".  There is no one moment when you think oh yep this is what I am going to do. It is something done out of desperation, of feeling like there is nothing else that will work.  When I started I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would still be struggling with urges 10 years later.  That 10 years later, whenever things get shit, it is my first port of call.  One of the girls interviewed for the story I think sums it up perfectly.
 

" I don’t remember why I chose self-harm. The chaos and the feelings that were all trapped inside my head got to a point where I needed something."
 

I was quite impressed with the way that the story was portrayed in such a sensitive way.  It didn't poke fun or minimise the behaviour in anyway. I just hope that this story was able to reach a few people, to help them understand.

60 Minutes Story

Mouth Sewn Shut

Unless you have been living under a rock then no doubt you would have heard or read about the Charlotte Dawson Saga.

Some people are saying she brought it on herself, that she should have just ignored the trolls.  But should she really have?  

All of the 'bully chats' when I was at school told us to ignore the bully. They just want attention. They just want a reaction from you.  It will be better if you ignore it.  Is it really?  None of my recollection of being taunted from school is that ignoring them is good.  I'm a stewer, I sit on things until I explode.  Clearly ignoring it doesn't work.  

It's really kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.  It all depends on your inner workings.  If you can turn something off and not think about it again, then go with the ignoring option. If not, then do what works for you.

I'm kind of a blow it all out in the open kind of person.  If someone has the 'balls' to say something nasty then I call them on it.  If they act one way in private and completely different way in public, then I call them on it.  I try to stand by the thought of 'If you wouldn't say it to their face then don't say it online.'  If you are so 'proactive' in letting someone know what you think about them, then why the need for secrecy.  

This week my brother was suspended.  One of the reasons given was that he kept having outbursts at other students when the were saying stuff to him on the sly.  So in short, he got suspended for sticking up for himself.  My mum brought this up with the teacher....apparently what he is doing is worse.  So again, in short standing up for yourself against bullies is worse than the bullying itself.  No wonder the rate of teen suicide is so high.

If you or someone you know is being bullied and doesn't know what to do please contact either Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36

I'm all about choice baby

I've been umming and ahhhing about writing about this topic because I wasn't sure how to approach it without seeming preachy or attracting unwanted attention.  In keeping with what I have going on about honesty though I decided to take the plunge...so here goes.

I think the greatest debate the many mothers, mothers-to-be and every other nosey bastard that wants to put their two cents in whether they are planning on having kids or not is 'to breastfeed or not to breastfeed'.  Go onto any parenting forum and you will no doubt find a heated debate from both sides of the fence.  

What camp do I reside in? I sit in the 'its your damn baby and your body you do whatever the hell you like as long as you are feeding them'.  I do however enter into debates if someone who bottlefed their child is being unfairly treated.

I bottle fed Mini Man and I'm not sorry for it..nor do I think it is anyone's business to try and make me feel guilty for it.  I did what was best for our situation and it worked.  In the same breath though I never begrudge a friend or woman for their ability to breast feed.  If you can and you want to, then that is awesome...but if you can't or don't want to then that is just fine too.

I've been called many names on parenting forums for choosing to bottle feed and I think it's disgusting.  As mothers we face so much judgement, so why do we feel the need to push our own judgement onto other mothers.  

I think there needs to be support for everyone.  Support if you are breastfeeding, support if you are bottle feeding.  There were a lot of questions I had when I first had my son...but I was never asked if I was ok because I 'took the easy way out'.  Anyone who bottle fed/feeds will tell you that while it is relatively easy to establish compared to breastfeeding, it is in no way as easy as established, successful breastfeeding.  I did find myself wishing I had gone the breastfeeding route for the pure on tap convenience it has once established.  I forgot to take a bottle while out shopping ONCE it never happened again.

Being a mum is hard...you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

To chop or not to chop

This post is going to be about a pretty controversial topic but I'm going to write it anyway.  If every one stopped themselves from writing or saying something that they thought would ruffle a few feathers then the world would be a pretty dull place.

I used to get involved in online debates but had to stop as they were making their way into my personal life and having a detrimental effect on my mental health.  I have a hard time dealing with the fact that some people are just douche bags who refuse to see reason.

Now in this 'day and age' it may come as a shock to hear that some people still circumcise their boys.  I am one of them.  It cost me a packet but I don't regret it.  I weighed up my the pros and cons and decided the pros outweighed the cons.

I've been told some 'awesome' reasons why I shouldn't have gotten him done.  One that still makes me chuckle is that circumcision prevents a man from being able to reproduce effectively.  Major man and his rabbit like producing abilities and that of his two sons definitely disputes that reasoning.  Between them they have 12 children.....  When I put this to the person, their response was that well it impaired my sexual function.....After reading his facebook page and blog I suspect it has more to do with his douche bagness and lack of personality that his 'sexual function' is impaired.

I consulted a few friends that work in the medical field and the response was almost the same with all....foreskin infection is the worst infection they have ever had to deal with.  One even went as far as to say that they would deal with 10 crash victims over 1 foreskin infection.  I don't want my son to have to suffer that when he gets to an age when he can't take care of his own personal hygiene.  If he is anything like Major Man he will refuse to get help until he thinks his old fella is going to fall off too o_O

I had one person against it and well she likes to inject random medication into people so I take her opinion with a grain of salt.  

So whether you chop or not...it's your choice.