I'm Awesome

This weeks prompt for I Must Confess is 'Why I'm Awesome' and I just knew that I couldn't resist a title like that. I am self confessed Queen of Awesomness. I'm awesome just ask me, I'll tell you.  I think people will struggle with this one as it's really hard to say nice things about yourself in an open forum. My suggestion? Don't take it so damn seriously.  It's life, it's not like you get out alive. 

1. I went clubbing in trackpants. With the tag still attached. I'm still not sure what is more awesome, the fact that I went out in them or that I was still allowed in.
 

2. I fail regularly at all of this housewifey shit but I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm no stepford wife.
 

3. I have THE BEST group of friends. Really couldn't ask for better ones. I could ask for more normal but hey where is the fun in that.
 

4. I drink my vodka out of a Wreck It Ralph cup I got from the cinema.  Just for added measure I drink from a straw that is fastened to the side of my cup with a paperclip. An icecream shaped paperclip so that makes it twice as awesome.
 

5. On more than one occasion I have gotten vodka in my eye. This may not seem awesome but when I drink it out of a straw it really is a super human effort on my part.
 

6. I totally perfected cheesey toast that shits all over the stuff you get at sizzlers.  I just never seem to have bread whenever I am craving the shit.
 

7. I won an award for most awkward tweeter on Friday. I can't remember what it was I wrote because I was drunk. Apparently it was awesome though. I am however still waiting for my badge for that shit.  Get to it people.
 

What makes you awesome?  Head on over to My Home Truths to check out everyone else's confessions!

Unofficial Guide to Twitter

Image from here

Even though the title says that this a 'guide' to twitter, it's not one of your run of the mill do as I say guides. I'm not interested in telling you about the etiquette of twitter because quite frankly I don't give a shit what you feel the need to post on your twitter. If I don't like it, then I unfollow you. If it's really dodgy then I will block you so that you cannot follow me.  So if you feel the need to talk about that giant pimple on your arse then you go right ahead sunshine. It's your freaking timeline.
 

So can you stop waffling on and tell us what this damn post is about already?, I hear you ask. It's about making the most out of twitter for you. That's right it's all about you.  A lot of my friends don't understand twitter and find it quite boring. So that prompted me to write this little guide.
 

1. Find some real people to follow. Twitter is about conversation so if everyone you are following is a celebrity and never replies to anything you ask or say to them, then it's going to be pretty boring. If you want to find out more about celebrities, just save yourself the hassle and buy a trashy magazine.
 

2. Search for topics that interest you and you might find some tweeps that are interesting to you. There are over 2 million users on twitter. I'm sure you will find someone that tickles your fancy.
 

3. Don't be afraid to get involved in a conversation. Like I already said Twitter is about conversation so get put yourself out there. You might just find some new people with similar values and interests to follow.
 

4.  Follow some parody accounts. Life is already too serious, we all need a bit of humour in our day.
 

5. I know that I said that this wasn't a what not to do guide but this one has to be said. Don't click on those fucking links.  You know the ones you get via DM or from half naked chick telling you she saw a cute photo of you? Yeh them. Don't click on them because they will spam everyone you follow and that's really not good for making people want to continue to follow you.
 

What are your tips for people wanting to get the best out of twitter?

Selfishness and Parties

 A conversation on twitter yesterday got me thinking about my 21st.  In Australia the big parties seem to be the 18th, 21st and then the decades there after.  My 18th was pretty non event so I was holding out for my 21st.  The universe however had other ideas. I was 6 months pregnant with Devil Spawn for my 21st so my birthday was a no alcohol for me event.  I wanted to just go to the local pool and laze around in my giant pregnant state but apparently that was unfair to all of my other able to drink guests. Whatevs
 

Just to throw another spanner in the works Devil Papa also got shingles in the week before the party so he was too tired to stay much longer than a couple of hours.  It did make the night relatively cheaper though as two of the biggest drinkers were out of action!
 

My family traveled down for it (7 hours so was a bit of a hike for them) and we had dinner at a local pub. I had a few friends come along and it started off as a nice night.  Until one annoying friend, who is no longer my friend, started to complain.  Some part of her brain malfunctioned and she thought that the night was about her. Her brain malfunctioning is all that I can think of because surely no one is as selfish as she acted that night.
 

The party started at 630pm (I think, the memory is a bit fuzzy) and after half an hour she was complaining that she was bored and wanted to know when we planned on going clubbing.  As I already mentioned, my family had traveled 7 hours to be here, they sure as hell deserved more than 30 minutes of my time.  Also no one in their right mind goes clubbing at 7pm, there is no one out and you look like a dick.
 

My party was also a sit down dinner...no one had eaten.  If you have ever been pregnant or been around someone who is pregnant, then you know that nothing stands between a pregnant woman and her food.  Especially at the particular pub we were at. They are known for their giant meals.  Devil Papa and I go there regularly and often take left overs home as there is enough for another meal.
I tried to ignore said friend to no avail. She was adamant that we must leave as soon as possible for the clubs.  She even made a point of walking out in a huff (aka adult sized tantrum) after I had said for what felt like the 1000th time that no we were not going anywhere yet. I hadn't made plans to go clubbing at all but if the opportunity arose I'd take it. 8pm was not the opportunity that I saw.
 

The party came to a close and a few of us decided to go to a large hotel that was in the vicinity of the clubs but not completely full of douche bags.  As I mentioned, I was six months pregnant at the time and just wanted to dance without someone grinding their groin on me.  As the hotel was mainly filled with middle aged women at the time, instead of getting my arse grabbed there was lots of belly rubbing to feel like Devil Spawn kick.  He obliged by doing his usual Mexican wave across my stomach. 
 

This 'club' was obviously not to the standard of which my 'friend' was hoping for.  She once again still forgot that it was in fact my party and we were going where I damn well said we were. Yes I was an only child for 11 years...how did you guess?  She complained and huffed about how we weren't doing what she wanted to do. 

After my parents left, I told her to go do what she wanted because I was sick to death of her attitude.  I was pretty reserved and had to tell another friend who was there at the time to leave it, because I was very close to telling her to go fuck herself.
While this friend didn't ruin my night, it made the night very unpleasant.  Her selfish actions left a sour taste in my mouth and it wasn't too much longer after that, that I cut her out of my life completely.
 

Have you had a party ruined by someone else's attitude?

FFS Friday 21st December

It's well and truly the silly season around her and it's bought all of the wankers out of the woodworks here.  It wouldn't be a Friday in silly season without a FFS Friday!
 

Devil Spawn slept in until 930 on Monday (daycare day) and I decided to keep him home.  An hour later I regretted it. FFS
 

By the time I got him ready and took him to daycare it would have been time to pick him up again so I had to deal with having him home FFS
 

Having him home involved taking him to a DR appointment.  That never ends well. FFS
 

He started off right where he left off last DR appointment and started screaming at me that he needed a drink FFS
 

After my DR did a GOOGLE search she determined that she didn't think I was able to get ATAPS. FFS
 

It turned out she was right FFS
 

Tuesday morning I woke up to it raining, I have to take the bus to Daycare and Devil Spawn had to go on Tuesday. FFS
 

The rain finally stopped around 745 and I was able to take him NO FFS.
 

There is a cafe here that I have been dying to try. Every time I have organised to go there something comes up. This week I got there but they were fully booked FFS.
 

I had lunch with some great company NO FFS
 

I killed some time before my psych appointment and bought a Scratchie. I won $25. NO FFS
 

I have to clean my dump before the parental unit come. Wednesday it was so hot that I looked like I had run a marathon after washing up.  FFS
 

Washing up was about all that I got done FFS
 

I did however wrap 90% of the Christmas Presents...whose stupid idea was it that the presents need to be wrapped FFS
 

I went hunting for a pair of board shorts for Christmas day...I couldn't find any shorts that were bigger than a pair of underwear. If I was going to wear that I wouldn't bother with the shorts FFS
 

That means that I have to brave the shops again tomorrow FFS
 

Papa Devil hasn't done any of his Christmas Shopping yet. That means I will then have to go out to the shops again on Saturday or Sunday. Why does he leave it until the days before every single year FFS
 

What's been pissing you off this week? Are you a blogger? Head on over to Dear Baby G and link up with your weekly whine.

Sunshine Award

The lovely blogger that is Robomum has tagged me for a Sunshine Award.  I'm so thankful to her :)

“The Sunshine Award is an award given by bloggers to other bloggers. The recipients of the Sunshine Award are: “Bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogsphere”. The way the award works is this: Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them. Answer questions about yourself. Select 10 of your favourite bloggers, link their blogs to your post and let them know they have been awarded the Sunshine Award!”

Now for the fun part, the questions!

1. Favourite Time of the Year? Summer is easily my favourite time of the year. I hate being cold and love being able to go swimming. I also love being able to go out for dinner and not have to wear 10 layers because I feel the cold really easily.

2. Favourite Festive movie? Polar Express I think would have to be my favourite festive movie.  It's beautiful and simple. 

3. What is your Passion? Educating people about Mental Illness. Providing my own little slice of the internet that hopefully leads to someone understanding that little bit more about what a friend or family member is feeling when they experience the stigma of Mental Illness. I hope that little by little, my contribution to information about struggling with a Mental Illness will lead to a little less stigma in the world.  

4. Favourite Colour? Pink or Purple, or both together.

5. Favourite time of the Day? Night time when Devil Spawn has finally fallen asleep and I am watching trashy tv, enjoying the alone time.

6. Favourite Flower? I love frangipanis.

7. Favourite Non-Alcoholic Beverage? You mean these things exist? What is this sorcery you speak of!? Haha seriously though, I would have to say that Coke is my favourite drink.  As bad as it is for me, I just love the taste.

8. Favourite Physical Activity? I love going for a walk by myself with my music blaring in my ears. It's calming and helps me to escape. 

9. Favourite Vacation? Devil Spawn, Papa Devil and myself haven't been on a holiday where it is just us, doing what we want, in our time so this is more of a wish vacation.  

Now for the tagging fun!

1. 26 Years and Counting 
2. Just One More Chapter 
3. Ness of Boganville 
4. Good Golly Miss Holly 
5. Singular Insanity
6. Edenland
7. Magnetoboldtoo
8. Beautiful Clusters of Life
9. Make. Me. Up. Mandy
10. Present Imperfection

Packing my baggage

What will you take with you?
 

When I first saw this prompt I thought it was a bit morbid and it meant what will you take into the 'afterlife' if you believe in that stuff.  No, it's about what will I take with me into 2013.  It's sad but I will most likely carry a lot of baggage. Not good baggage (is it ever) but baggage that I need to leave behind.
 

The biggest bag in my baggage is anger. I have talked a lot about feeling like a ball of fury.  I have started to feel myself uncurl a little bit but it is still there. I'm quick to react, quick to anger, quick to expect the worst.  It's what happens when you get stabbed in the back while getting hugged by a friend.  A friendship ruined by betrayal is the hardest to get over.  If you just drift apart...you feel sad that you aren't as close but there is no horrible gut wrenching feeling.
 

I dwell on things too much. I bottle things up, I remember things with detail and play them over and over again in my head.  I think of things that I could have, should have, would have done.  It doesn't change the outcome, all it does is make me angrier. Angrier at the person, angrier at myself, angrier at the whole situation.
These are the things that I will take with me into the New Year.  They aren't the things that I want to take with me.  What I want to take is a calmer me, a me that takes things in their stride.  A person who realises that there is nothing that I can do about other peoples actions..regardless of how shitty they are, that beating myself up about it, won't change them.  A leopard rarely changes their spots. People who use and abuse, don't feel sorry for the way they treat people.  Even if they are supposed to be 'mature aged women', it won't stop them acting like highschool tarts.
 

That is my one thing that I want to get out of going to see a Psychologist. I want a calm way of letting out the frustration.  A way that doesn't see me bottling it up then exploding like a ticking time bomb.  It may take a long time.  It will be a lot of work, but I am excited for a new me. A me who doesn't take the shit that get's shovelled my way.  A me who speaks up when it's needed.  A me who doesn't snap after being pushed down for so long that there is nothing else to do.  Those who treat me right shouldn't be worried, those who act like giant douchebags...will not phase me anymore.

I will rise above this 

 

Your Dream Destination

Today's prompt is What was your dream destination in 2012?
 

One of my besties lives 6 hours away.  To the seasoned traveller that may not seem very far away but to me it is an eternity.  I don't drive and Papa Devil has a boss that is a dick.  As it is, his boss is dragging his feet about giving Papa Devil an extra two weeks over the Christmas Break. His second 'holiday' since we've been together I might add.  He normally just works his way around the 10 or so days that the boss gives them off.  For someone who runs a shop on his own, 5 days a week, with no help, this is either dedication or pure stupidity.  I go between the two depending how things are going.
 

I would love to be able to visit my bestie more often.  Hell even a couple of times a year would be fine with me.  You know what...I'm sure the time off would do Papa Devil the world of good too.  No one can work as hard as he does and not burn out. 
 

In March we had organised a girls night down with my bestie.  It was supposed to be an entire weekend but because Papa Devil didn't ask for any time off, it was just a night.  I really wish it could have been longer.  Traveling 7 hours in a car with a hang over, on minimal sleep is shit. Don't do it...ever. We arrived there after midnight on Friday night and had to leave at around lunch time on Sunday. It was rushed and no where near enough time to spend with the bestie. 
 

Just a short one today as I'm working hard on Reader's Choice for tomorrow. 
 

What was your dream destination in 2012? Did you get to go there?

My life would be different

It's Thursday again (phew where are the weeks going???) and we all know what that means right? It's Reader's Choice Thursdays.  This week I did things a little different and created a poll on my Facebook Page for readers to choose.  The winner this week is:
My life would be different if I'd never met...
 

This topic really took a lot of thinking.  I have so many wonderful people in my life that I wasn't sure who to write about.  So many people who have made an impact on my life, impacts that are both good and bad.  I decided to stick with the good thought and chose to write about one of my best friends. 

When I was growing up I always had friends, but I needed my space. I couldn't handle being in close quarters to anyone for too long, it would drive me crazy.  I don't really keep in close contact with any of my childhood friends.  I am Facebook friends with them and occasionally catch up when I am at my parents but that's about it.  I wasn't the easiest person to be friends with when I was a teenager.  More so than most teenagers.  I was bat shit crazy for most of it.  Once I finished school, we didn't really hang out much.  We all went our separate ways and started our lives. Me...I was hellbent on ending mine.
 

Fast forward to 2007 and a near fatal OD. I was in a coma for 3 days, in ICU for 4 and then transferred to the Mental Health ward when I stayed for a month.  Two weeks into that month I met my best friend.  She was very standoffish at first and I've often told her I thought she was a cow for the first couple of days she was in there.  Slowly the ice started to break and we took great delight in pissing off the nurses and other patients. 
 

She's been there for my ups and my down, down lows.  For the first time I have a best friend who I tell absolutely everything to. She is the only person who knows everything that goes on.  Most of the time she knows more than Papa Devil about the way I am feeling. Why? Because she knows what I am talking about.  For the first time I have a friend who 'gets' it.  Self Harming isn't easy to deal with.  Having someone to talk to who knows the desperation you feel when you need to cut, that it isn't all about attention is so valuable. 
 

We've now been friends for almost 6 years and still as close as ever. We speak most days, usually sending each other hilarious memes to describe our days.  My life definitely wouldn't be the same without her.  Sure I could ask for a more normal friend but where's the fun in that ;)

Girls night

This Friday night I am doing what every girl needs every now and then. I'm having a girls night out.  You have no idea how much I am looking forward to it.  Nothing beats letting your hair down sans kids with your closest girl friends.
 

I'm doing the preparation for it now because having a child has bought out the need to have everything organised days in advance part in me that was always laying dormant. I whipped out one my new notebooks and started making a list, checking it twice all that shiz.  Like I said I am super excited.
 

It got me feeling all stiff in the pants about past nights out and I started looking through old pics.  Oh the shame but oh there was so much fun had in making all that shame!

So with that I decided to share with you all my girls night adventures in picture form. Have fun and let loose baby!

 No girls night out is complete without the drinks before going out. You know because drinks at clubs are so damn expensive.

Screw cups and straws. They're overrated.

Occasionally I'm a laaaaady and use a grown up glass.  

Motorboating always makes the night much more fun.

It's not a night out clubbing unless you take at least one selfy in the toilet.

Then of course there is the morning after where you check out your wounds.  These are usually caused by the fact that the only time you wear heels is when you go out once every 6 months.  Of course you've never worn the shoes before and you will always get a blister.

Do you enjoy a good girls night out? Or maybe a boys night out? Are you long overdue for one?

Beautiful? Who me?

I got massive surprise this afternoon when I logged on to see that Ann over at Help!! I'm Stuck!!   had tagged me in a super cool Beautiful Blogger Award.  So what does that mean? It means you lucky bastards get to find out cool interesting facts about me. Yep little ol' me.

This was my first thought when I had to think of something to say

 image here

I guess I should stop dicking around though and get to the important stuff.

1. Despite my tough exterior and my best efforts to not look all sissy. My favourite colour is pink.  There I said it.
2. My favourite movie of all time is Rocky Horror Picture Show. I could watch it over and over again.  Then once more just for good measure.
3. When I was in school I wanted to be a teacher. Now I am glad that I am not. My mum works in a school and the disrespect through stupid rules she gets is disgusting. It's something that I would really struggle with. Especially having to watch that I don't hug a child who is upset for fear of retribution.
4. I'm supposed to wear glasses when I am on the computer or reading.  I'm too lazy to go get them so I just squint at the screen instead.
5. I am a notebook-a-holic. I love buying new notebooks, even if I don't have anything to write in them.  In fact today I bought 3 new ones.
6. I love looking at storage stuff. If I had my own house each room would have different kinds of shelves and cupboards.  I could go nuts in a storage store. Sadly my bank balance gets in the way.
7. I really struggled to think of 7 interesting facts so I asked a friend and her answer was just say you're awesome because that says it all haha

My latest notebook haul

Now for the fun part! I get to bestow the honour of Beautiful Blogger onto some other awesome peeps!

1. Good Golly Miss Holly 
2. Edenland 
3. Dear Baby G 
4. Random Ramblings of a SAHM 
5. MagnetooBoldtoo 
6. Where's My Glow 
7. Wanderlust 
8. Help!! I'm Stuck!! 
9. Parental Parody  
10. Woogsworld 
11. Confessions of a 30 Something Woman 
12. Cup of Tea and A Blog 
13. Love Life and Hiccups 
14. What's in Emma's Brain 
15. The Things I'd Tell You 

No pressure to join in just thought it would be a bit of fun on a Friday afternoon. Enjoy your weekend!

Hindsight

Unfortunately sometimes in life it takes a big event for people to show their true colours.  It can feel like a slap in the face and hindsight is a bitch.
 

It can really be a knock to your self esteem.  I've started to wonder if it's something I do that attracts these kind of people.  The kind of people who will hug you with one hand and stab you in the back with the other.  Do I invite these people or am I just not perceptive enough to see the true colours that lurk beneath the surface? Or are these people so cunning that they hide their true colours until a situation arises that forces their real personality to the surface?
 

For the duration of 2012 I have been an angry ball of fury.  Everyone and everything got on my nerves.  Life became an unbearable pit of anger. I hated leaving the house because everything pissed me off and I was constantly on edge.  A scowl was a permanent fixture on my face and I wasn't very approachable.  I thought I needed new meds.  I think a lot of it was down to the fact that I was in fact surrounded by arseholes.
 

I've had a facebook acc since 2007. It wasn't until this year that it started to become more of a burden than a help.  It made me paranoid and untrusting as knives were coming from every direction and I didn't know who was throwing them.  It revealed it's underbelly of gossip and back stabbing behaviour and I didn't like it.  I spent more time worrying and talking about the latest drama that had happened on facebook instead of focusing on my own life and bettering myself. 
 

Then a few weeks ago an incident happened.  An incident that I do not wish to go into detail about on here because I am trying to put it behind me and not dwell on it anymore.  My group of friends were supportive during this time...until some of them weren't.  Actions started to become underhanded and immoral behaviours were expected to be forgiven and forgotten.  It wasn't that simple, it's never that simple.  A small group began to form who supported and excused the incident.  Saying that I didn't know the full story, despite me being the only person in the group who was there when the incident occured.  It all came to a head and I thought fuck it and did a friends list cull.
 

The weight off my shoulders and out of my mind was immense. I left mutual groups, so had no reason to interact at all.  I suddenly felt my brow start to uncrease.  I felt my shoulders to to unhunch.  I felt the ball of fury becoming smaller as each day passed.  Facebook has become a safe haven again. It has become somewhere that I can vent and talk to my friends withouth having to worry about a game of chinese whispers. 
 

So before you decide that you are an angry person with a problem or a person deserving of the treatment they receive, first make sure that the people you are surrounding yourself with aren't putting those behaviours in your psyche.  Be who you are and you will find people who let your real personality and nature shine. 

Bygones

Sometimes I wonder if it is my twisted perception of interpersonal relationships that makes it hard to make and keep friendships.  Other times I wonder if it's just because other people are stupid.

As I have gotten older, I become more aware of my actions and thoughts.  The thin line between my brain and my mouth closes and I think about what I say to others.  I have clear retrospection...or so I like to think.

The last six months have really made me more aware of how my actions have an impact on others.  How not everyone is straight up and honest.

Facebook has made me paranoid.  There is so many she said, she said, that you wonder who to trust.  You get stepped on and pushed over so much that you begin to question humanity's integrity.  You wonder what goes through people's heads and who is the crazy person.

In the end though all you can do is act how you will always act and hope that you will attract others who feel/think in similar ways.  Tell the truth and be up front.  Never say anything on the internet that you wouldn't to their face.  Living like this might get you 'haters' but it will also get you friends who 'get you'