Bio Oil Skins Stories Campaign

*I did not receive any products in return for this article. As always all opinions are my own*
I have talked in the past about my scars.  There are a lot of them and up until a couple of years ago they were very red and extremely itchy 90% of the time.  Any time that I sweated, or it was cold, they would dry out and be very uncomfortable.  That was until I started using Bio Oil.  The scars haven't completely disappeared but the difference in the colour and comfort was amazing.  I was hesitant to spend so much money on a beauty product, not knowing how well it would work but I was pleasantly surprised with the results.

Bio Oil have launched the Skin Stories Campaign in the hopes that through stories shared will help to rid the shame surrounding our differening skin conditions.  To help get the conversation started, Bio Oil is donating $5 for each story shared on the Bio Oil Facebook Page, to the organisation 'Look Good, Feel Better.  Look Good, Feel Better is an initiative started by the Cosmetic Industry Community that helps cancer patients.

I shared my story and I urge you to do the same.  Not only will sharing your story raise funds for Look Good, Feel Better but you can go into the draw to win a pack of Bio Oil products.  The process is super easy and can help start the conversation on how we feel about our skin.  You can share any kind of story and you don't have to have used Bio Oil to qualify.  Awareness starts with one conversation. Be part of it.

Bio Oil Facebook Page

Body Love

If the 'fashion world' is to be believed, plus size starts at size 12-14. I call fucking bullshit! How on earth are we supposed to portray to our children that size isn't everything, when a world that is so dominant to a teenager is telling them that they are 'overweight' at a size 12-14.  There is so much outrage...and yet nothing is done.  

When will it be that a woman is recognised for her brain, her voice, her passion and not the size of her bra, shirt and short short skirt?
 

Loving my body is something that I have always struggled with and continue to struggle with.  It doesn't matter what size I am...I hate it.  I stand in front of the mirror, poking and proding, picking out things that I do not like.  I have always felt a strong disconnection between my body and my mind. My mind is strong, my body is weak. 
 

This isn't about hate though, this is about love.  I don't hate my entire body, I don't know if that is entirely possible. Even at my lowest of lows, when poked and prodded I could eventually come up with something that I liked.  As I have gotten older, I have realised the strenght that my body has. The things that I have put it through and it's come through the other side virtually unscathed.  Every weekend I thank my liver for being a fucking trooper.  That bastard puts up with a bashing!
 

I have lived through OD's that if left untreated could have done severe damage, drank things that were intended for cleaning purposes only and still my body is reasonably ok. I have reflux that hurts like a bitch when I forget my meds but other than that, it's doing ok.  I had someone lace my drink with turps and yet all I felt was a couple of cramps. Like I said my body has copped a hiding.  It still does the stuff I want it to do! It might put up a hell of a protest but we get there in the end.
 

I have cut it, burnt it and scratched at it.  I have tried to destroy my body in any way I could. Still it's here, doing the shit it's supposed to do.  It might not look the way that I want it to look. Does anyones?
 

I birthed a mother fucking baby out of my body.  I felt like a beach ball with legs, and still my body did everything that it needed to do.  It created this little Devil Spawn. It was amazing and scary all at the same time but my body did it.
 

Do you love your body? Has it kept you in awe at the amazing things it can do?
 

Link up for #RCThursdays below.  This is the last one for the year so lets go out with a bang :)

Epidemic

*The following post may be triggering to those who are struggling with self harm thoughts. Please make sure you are feeling safe before reading.*

If you or someone you know is contemplating hurting themselves please get in contact with a GP, go to your closes ED or give the wonderful people at Lifeline a call.

On 60 minutes on Sunday, they did a story on Self Harm. I will admit that I was apprehensive about it and didn't actually watch it until it was available online. After I knew that other people had watched it.  After I knew whether they had portrayed it in an understanding light.  I just knew that I wasn't in the right frame of mind to deal with it, if it was anything else.
 

I've made no secret of the fact that I have self harmed in the past.  It is something that I deal with on a constant basis. It is something that I will probably deal with for the rest of my life.  Was it easy to stop? No. Not at all.
 

Self harm has been toted as 'attention seeking' among other derogatory things.  Things like that do nothing for the shame and guilt that someone who self harms or has self harmed feels.  The worst comments I have received have actually been from 'professionals'. The pearlers have been when presenting to the local Emergency Departmet with injuries that needed medical attention ranging from 'so', 'you know you're doing it the wrong way' to when presenting with self harm thoughts and not actions 'just come back when you've done it'.  Emergency Departments are the first port of call for mental health patients and really need to be trained in ways to deal with these patients. Psychiatrist Professor Graham Martin talks about it during his interview.
 

"I hear of therapists running away. I hear of people in hospital running away. Nursing staff who can’t face up to somebody who has cut themselves deliberately. Because they’re not important, and they did it to themselves, and they’re just attention seeking. I don’t believe any of that. I think when somebody goes to these lengths, they need help."
 

One of the most common questions asked of someone who self harms I think is "What made you think to pick up something to hurt yourself with".  There is no one moment when you think oh yep this is what I am going to do. It is something done out of desperation, of feeling like there is nothing else that will work.  When I started I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would still be struggling with urges 10 years later.  That 10 years later, whenever things get shit, it is my first port of call.  One of the girls interviewed for the story I think sums it up perfectly.
 

" I don’t remember why I chose self-harm. The chaos and the feelings that were all trapped inside my head got to a point where I needed something."
 

I was quite impressed with the way that the story was portrayed in such a sensitive way.  It didn't poke fun or minimise the behaviour in anyway. I just hope that this story was able to reach a few people, to help them understand.

60 Minutes Story

Self Harm Awareness Day

March the 1st, is Self Injury Awareness day. Everyone knows someone who self harms or has self harmed in the past. Show your support and wear or draw an orange ribbon to show your awareness. Self harm isn't a joke, it's a coping mechanism and can be a symptom of other mental health problems. Smile at someone, it could make their day.

The website Responsibility defines the act of self harm as: 'behavior of deliberately causing oneself pain or injury.' 

Today is a day set aside to raise awareness of self harm.  Self harm is such a taboo subject that spreading awareness of this struggle that many people face every single day. Self harm isn't a failed suicide attempt.    

Facing up to an Emergency Department after an episode of self harm borders on terrifying.  You never quite know the reception you are going to receive.  It could be revulsion, scorn or if you are lucky compassion.  An article in the European Journal of Emergency Medicine states 

'Staff in the emergency departments of hospitals are reported as being negative or ambivalent toward suicidal or self-harming individuals. According to the literature, these patients are subjected to stigmatization and lack of empathy. This phenomenon has been linked to a decreased quality of care offered to these individuals and to missing an important opportunity to prevent further suicidal behavior or repetition of deliberate self-harm'

If this is how 'professionals' treat people who self harm...then the general uneducated public can only be thought to be worse.

For me self harm is like an addiction.  It's like any coping mechanism that we develop, we fall back to it when familiar obstacles present themselves.  The hard part is replacing these behaviours with something positive.  Something that gives the same 'rush' because for me that is what is was.  It made me feel when everything else was numb.

If you or someone you know self harms please get help.  It might not provide an instant cure but it's the first step in releasing the grip that self harm has.

This was such a great support for me as a teen: http://self-injury.net/

Check out these websites for more info:

Lifeline

Beyond Blue

Kids Help Line

If you have self harmed please seek medical treatment at your nearest Emergency Department.

Fresh Horses

I really wasn't sure if I should link up to this, this week.  I didn't know how to approach it and whether I should, given the way that I have been feeling of late.  I however decided to look at it as a celebration of beating the odds rather than the morbid dwelling on death.

When I was 15, doctors told me that if I continued the way I was, that they would be surprised if I made it to 16...I outlasted that prediction.  Much to my dismay.

When I was 18, they told me if I continued the way that I was that I would be lucky to make it to 21.  Here I am almost 3 years later...beating the odds.  I'm still here battle scars and all.  

My behaviours didn't change until 3 years ago...I guess I must have always had a small glimmer of hope.  Even when I was downing 100's of pills.

I'm lucky that I haven't suffered any long term physical side effects. Shit got messy but the scars show that I survived.  I fought and I won...just.

Do you know what you'd want to be your funeral song? Would it be a celebration of beating the odds? Link up with Edenland and tell your story too.

Scars remind me that the past is real

Image from here

It's no secret that I have a history of self harm...I have evidence from my wrists to my shoulders.

I'm not ashamed of my scars....but I'm not proud of them either...contrary to popular belief.

Most of them I can tell you a brief story of how it got there...the superficial story anyway.

I often forget that they are actually there...I've lived with scars for so long that they are just part of me...much like a birthmark or freckle would be for someone else.  It always throws me off when people ask me what happened.  My stock standard answer is "It's a long story" aka mind your own fucking business.  Most of the time that works....others are just too nosy and I end up walking away.  

If I do tell you what happened...don't think that I will do any harm to you...that's why it's called SELF harm.  I have no intention on physically hurting anyone else except myself.

Self harm can be all consuming and is much like an addiction.  Before you know it, you are doing so much damage to yourself in one session that it repulses most people...you hardly blink an eye.

Self harm is not an attention seeking venture.  It's a way to make the inner turmoil into something physical. Physical problems are much easier to deal with.

If you or someone you know has the urge to self harm please call someone.  It can be a family member or a friend.  Alternatively if you don't feel comfortable talking to someone close to you, there are numerous help lines to call.

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Victoria Suicide Helpline: 1300 651 251

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 (these guys were a huge amount of help to me as a teenager)

You can also call your local hospital and ask about a crisis line.

If you are in immediate danger please call 000 or get yourself or the person who is threatening self harm to your nearest Emergency Department.