Mindless

So last week I started 'another' weight loss challenge.  The eating effort in the first week was dismal.  I ate take aways most of the time.  A week long gastro bug was my only saviour so I lost 2kg. Gastro bug has gone now, so I really have no excuse.  

It's really become apparent that there seems to be no communication between my hand and my brain.  It seems I am binging. Eating until almost bursting point.  Eating until I can feel my stomach hurt.  Then having a few more mouthfuls, just to be sure.  

I have put on 40kg in the last 12 months.  30 of them being in the last 6 months.  Nothing fits and I am getting closer to having to only shop in specialist shops.  I haven't been this heavy since I was pregnant.  

I have started a food diary to try and keep myself accountable.  I think that I need to stop buying processes stuff.  Both for Dyllan and I.  The trouble with it, is that it requires no preparation so its 'no drama' to eat an entire packet. There is no effort involved.  If I have to make all my food, then I will be less inclined to eat more than I have to.  

This has to stop. I am sick of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I am sick of none of my clothes fitting.  I am sick of having no energy.  I need to change this.