You want to put crystals where?

For something different I have decided to do a readers choice every Thursday.  This week is bought to you by Ann over at Help!! I'm Stuck!! and she has chosen the very bling topic of VAJAZZLING.
 

I'll admit it, I'm a sucker for trashy tv.  Especially when I have had a shithouse day.  There's nothing better than settling in front of the tv with my laptop and watching some tv that doesn't require me to use my brain.  I love a good who-dunnit but when life has been kicking my arse all day, the last thing I want to be doing is thinking while watching tv.
 

Tuesday night I was watching Snog Marry Avoid when one of the 'make unders' started talking about vajazzling. I made a comment about it on twitter and Ann (the smart arse) decided that it would be an awesome topic for this week.
 

Vajazzling: The act of applying glitter and jewels to a woman's bikini area for aesthetic purposes.  AKA putting some bling blin on your vjay-jay.  Apparently it's pretty popular.  The term was first coined by, believe it or not Jeniffer Love-Hewitt. I know! I was surprised too, I for one thought it was created by Paris Hilton or one of the socialites.  Here is the interview in which she told George Lopez about adding some bling to her vjay-jay.
 

I did a bit of searching and it turns out this isn't just a DIY thing, where you order some stickers off Ebay and go sticker crazy. No. There are some beauty therapists who do it as part of a Brazillian or you can just go in and get it done by itself.  Some places charge up to $100 for the pleasure. Me, I can think of a lot of things I'd rather do with $100 than stick some crystals on my vjay-jay.
 

Now before you go thinking that you'll have a toilet full of crystals every time you relieve yourself, it's not like that at all.  The crystals are applied to the vulva, which is freshly shaved or waxed.  Salons suggest having the area waxed rather than shaved as the area stays smooth and hair free for a longer period of time.  Plus let's face it, that love heart made of crystals isn't going to look to bling, bling with your overgrown pubes sticking through.
 

Interested in finding out more? Well you're in luck because I also found a tutorial on vjazzling.  Check out the video below for tips.  

 

 Would you do some vjazzling? Have you done some vjazzling? Or does it all just seem like too much work? Me? I'm flat out shaving my legs most days so adding crystals to my nether regions isn't high on my agenda.

Put some clothes on yo!

It's FFS Friday today so I have my ranty pants on.  Unlike the teen female population however, my pants are big, baggy and sufficiently cover my arse.

I got to my local shopping centre fairly regularly and my eyes are always assaulted with what seems to be the new fashion of leggings as pants and short shorts.  

The trouble is they think they look like this:

 When in fact 90% of them look like this:

 Girls, girls, girls.  

If you can't wear undies under your shorts because you are worried they will show out THE BOTTOM of your shorts, they shouldn't be worn in public.

If you can feel a breeze on your v-jay jay, they shouldn't be worn in public.

If your thighs have more cottage cheese than the dairy section in Coles, they shouldn't be worn in public.  

If you have to go to the plus size section to get your short shorts, they shouldn't be worn in public.

If your friends tell you, you look fine and sexy when you are unsure about how much arse you are showing, don't listen to them, they are arseholes.

If I can see the lace on your undies at the front of your shorts, they shouldn't be worn in public.

If you have to be anywhere that involves children, these shouldn't be worn in public.  Yes that involves picking up your kids from Daycare or School.  Your kid doesn't run out of the place because they're excited to get home, they want to get as far away from you as possible lest they be taunted for the rest of their school lives.

Please girls for the love of god, have some self respect. What happened to leaving shit to the imagination.  At least save the dental floss shorts for a night club where I'm not likely to be assaulted by them while buying a bottle of milk.

Need to get something off your chest? Head on over to Dear Baby G and let rip or read about other people's shit house days to know you aren't alone.

Hard Work

Whoever said hard work never hurt anyone obviously hasn't seen my hand :s  It's my mouse clicking finger too so it's really hurting like a bitch.

To try and 'pass the time' I've started weeding.  Yes she who detests the outdoors is weeding her backyard.  Don't worry this is most likely only a short lived endevour and my yard will go back to the jungle it once was again.

We're getting it ready for the arrival of the parental unit next week for the easter break.  Must make sure to put the chairs back in their covers.  That is the only thing that is 'important' before they arrive.  Everytime they come to say mum ribs me about leaving the chairs out and how I am wrecking them, so this time I will head her off and put them in the cover before they get here.  Even if it is the day before they arrive(ok maybe two because they change their minds about arrival more often than Brittany Spears flashed her v-jay jay).

Well I think that will have to be all for today because my finger is on FIRE(again who said a bit of hard work won't hurt you???).