Cry baby

I'm in a few online mum forums and time after time the question is raised 'When is it ok to let my baby cry?'.  The answer always varies and there are a few extremes in both directions.  

Me? I'm a fan of teaching self settling.

Some experts state that letting a baby cry has long term emotional effects. Personally I think it's a load of crap.  My mum and I often joke that its just another thing added to the list that 'experts' say is the reason that I have mental health issues.

I didn't really follow any method with Mini Man but used the elimination method.  If I knew that all his physical needs were being met, then sometimes it's ok to let him cry a little.  There is nothing wrong with his ability to show his emotions.  

I've even heard some mothers comment that parents who practice controlled crying don't love their children as much.  What a kick in the guts for new mums.  Everyone has their own way of doing things and you do what works for you.  For us, it was self settling.  

I always like to use my brother and I as an example as my mum had different parenting skills with us both due to the age gap.  I was a screamer...mum did everything to try and get me to stop.  My brother was a pretty placid baby...hell I baby sat him without a dram a from when he was 3 months old. A screamer is naturally going to be held more...a placid baby generally isn't.  

If you were to ask which of us has the better emotional control and development, it is my brother...and he's 12.  When I was 16 a psychiatrist said that I had the emotional coping skills of a 10 year old...and he was rounding up.

So where do you stand? Are you a self settler or a rock to sleep kinda mum?