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Monday, 11 April 2011

I'm not sure exactly why I am starting this or how long I will keep it up....if past performance is anything to go by about a week.

I'm a mum but I don't think I should be.  I've never said that out loud before.  I've never admitted that I really really don't know if I can do this.  That I am so glad when I drop him off at daycare because I almost feel like I can breathe again.  I'll never admit that...what kind of person would that make me out to be.

Some days are better than others....some days are much much worse than others.  Some days I just want to shut my door and pretend no one else exists.  He deserves better than this, he deserves a mum that isn't angry ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  I want to fix it, I want to be that mum he deserves, he needs.  I just don't know where to begin.  How do you fix something that has been broken for so long...

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6 Comments:

At 19 April 2011 at 11:30 , Blogger Princess Jo said...

Let go of the broken - create new. I think we, as women, don't give ourselves enough credit.

If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

 
At 19 April 2011 at 11:36 , Blogger Princess Jo said...

Oh - and you MUST check out Edenland - http://edenriley.blogspot.com/

 
At 28 January 2013 at 22:02 , Blogger NessofBoganville said...

I'm glad you kept going and you're a great Mum! I can't wait for my boys to back to school/kindy either, perfectly normal. x

 
At 28 January 2013 at 22:07 , Anonymous Kirsty @ My Home Truths said...

Tegan, I can feel the raw pain through your words. If it's any comfort, I feel the same way at times. I really do and I detest myself for it. Yet I can't control it. It sucks.

I hope you have moved forward from here and I look forward to following your journey more closely from here on in. Thanks so much for linking up with I Must Confess this week!

 
At 31 January 2013 at 09:56 , OpenID havealaughonme said...

You know I think we all feel like we're crap mothers at time, I hope you're being kinder to yourself now!! Emily

 
At 31 January 2013 at 22:43 , Blogger Me said...

By taking it one step at a time. I hope that things improved for you - take care and lotsa hugs !
Have the best day that you can !
Me

 

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