I'm not sure exactly why I am starting this or how long I will keep it up....if past performance is anything to go by about a week.

I'm a mum but I don't think I should be.  I've never said that out loud before.  I've never admitted that I really really don't know if I can do this.  That I am so glad when I drop him off at daycare because I almost feel like I can breathe again.  I'll never admit that...what kind of person would that make me out to be.

Some days are better than others....some days are much much worse than others.  Some days I just want to shut my door and pretend no one else exists.  He deserves better than this, he deserves a mum that isn't angry ALL. OF. THE. TIME.  I want to fix it, I want to be that mum he deserves, he needs.  I just don't know where to begin.  How do you fix something that has been broken for so long...